Woodsie Oceana

Leaning in to loneliness

Have you ever had a nightmare that you’re falling? When it feels so real, that you can feel your stomach turn in your sleep? Personally, I feel that same sensation when I can tell I’m “falling” for someone. Not just the casual “catching feels”, but when you have that first moment that you realized you’re deep in it. Feeling like, “Oh shit… I jumped! I’m free falling in mid air! Where am I going?! What’s going to happen?!

Falling in love can be so scary if you haven’t done the work of “getting comfortable in your own company”. I like to refer to this mental state as “baseline”. Baseline being when you’re alone… when your friends/family are busy, and you’re single AF. It’s absolutely crucial for people to make their baseline a healthy, comfortable place that they enjoy!!

Doing the work to curate a baseline that you feels good to be in, makes the “risk” of falling in love and getting your heartbroken feel less… risky. It shortens the fall from the top when you’ve built a safe landing spot for yourself.

The fall happen at anytime in life, at any age whether it’s a breakup, a divorce, a death. Sometimes we can feel the slow fall approaching, other times it feels as if we’re literally shoved off a cliff. We’re all going to have time alone at some point or another, so why not make that an enjoyable time. Not a time to be feared!